“Where Are You From?” FAQ (Frustrating Awkward Questions)

“Where are you from?” seems simple, until you pause, realizing your life doesn’t fit into one place. Maybe you’re an immigrant with pieces of your life spread around the world. Maybe you’ve moved so often that “home” is a feeling, not an address. Or maybe, like me, your answer maps its own geography—China (my origin), New Hampshire (my American arrival), Vermont (where I found belonging), Ithaca (my growth), and Brooklyn (my now). Four states, two identities, and a heart that belongs to multiple zip codes. 

This question isn’t just tricky for immigrants. It’s a puzzle for anyone who’s lived a layered life. So why does it feel so hard to answer? And how can we reply in a way that honors our whole story?

Why “Where Are You From?” Feels Loaded

For immigrants, this question can carry an unspoken “But where are you really from?”—as if our current home isn’t enough. For others, it turns years of change, new beginnings, and deep connections into a multiple-choice question.

But here’s the truth: You don’t need to shrink your life into a neat little box. Your story belongs to you—share as much or as little as you want, whether it’s a quick reply, a long story, or a funny sidestep.

How to Answer (Without Losing Yourself)

1. The “Highlight Reel” Approach

“I was born in China, New Hampshire was my American starting point, Vermont shaped me, Ithaca educated me, and Brooklyn? That's where life keeps surprising me."

It's a highlight reel of your journey, let them focus on what resonates.

2. The “Choose Your Own Adventure” Response

“Do you want the 30-second version (Brooklyn!), the 5-minute version (involving four states), or the full documentary (bring snacks)?”

With humor as your shield, proving Identity isn’t a multiple-choice question.

3. The “Emotional GPS” Answer

“I’m from the smell of my mom’s cooking in China, the quiet of New Hampshire woods, and the unshakable community of Vermont. Now? My address says NYC, but my soul’s a remix.”

It’s about the stories behind places, not just their locations.

4. The “Playful Dodge” (for when you'd rather keep it light)

“I’m from everywhere.” 

Sometimes, humor is the best armor.

Why Your Messy Answer Matters

The expectation to choose just one “home” makes it seem like we can only belong in one way. But people are more like collages, made up of many pieces. When you embrace your complex story, you show others they can too.

For immigrants: You’re not “half” anything. You’re 100% on your journey.

For movers: Your roots aren’t shallow—they’re wide.

For everyone else: If you’ve ever felt “not from enough,” this is your reminder: Places don’t own you. You collect them.

Next Time Someone Asks…

Smile. This is your story to tell, whether you share the headlines or the full documentary. Feel like giving them the tour? Watch their faces light up as you connect the dots from China to New Hampshire, Vermont to Ithaca, all the way to Brooklyn. Every stop makes you who you are.

Because the best stories don’t fit on a passport.

How do you answer “Where are you from?” Tell me in the comments.